When most people think of depression, they picture sadness, fatigue, or loss of motivation. But one of the most overlooked parts of healing depression is learning how to recognize, name, and release your emotions.

For many of us living with depression, emotions can feel overwhelming—or worse, completely absent. Numbness often sets in as a kind of survival mechanism. But when emotions do begin to return, they can feel confusing, scary, or even shameful.

The good news? Emotions aren’t signs of weakness. They are biology. And learning to work with them, rather than against them, can be one of the most natural ways to begin healing.

The Guilt and Shame Trap

When numbness starts to lift, the first emotions that often surface are guilt and shame. Guilt for what you “should” have been doing, and shame for struggling at all.

I feel this every time I come out of an episode of depression or a flare of my chronic illness. The first thing I notice is how messy the house has become, and then I start tallying up all the hobbies I didn’t keep up with, the personal goals I haven’t moved toward, the exercise I missed. I always feel like I should have been able to do more.

My husband is the one who reminds me that it is okay to need more time, that goals do not have to happen immediately, and that moving forward slowly is still success. Together we redefined what success means for us with three simple questions: Did you live? Did you love? Did you learn?

Shame and guilt do not motivate healing. In fact, research shows that self-blame activates the same brain pathways that worsen depression symptoms. Naming guilt when it comes up, and reframing it with compassion, is a powerful way to interrupt the cycle.

The Anger Trap

Anger can feel like fuel. I know because I relied on it heavily during college. I pushed myself forward by being angry at my own weaknesses and at my inability to do more. I even used guilt and shame as motivation to force myself out of bed and get things done.

At the time, it seemed productive. But the truth is, it left me in a darker, more toxic mental space. Anger is like lighter fluid: it burns hot and fast, but it cannot sustain a steady fire. Over time, using anger as fuel raises stress hormones like cortisol, increases inflammation, and actually deepens depression.

It took me years to recognize what I was doing and to slowly work at changing it. I am still someone who loves productivity and checking things off my list, but I know now that anger and guilt are not healthy motivators. They make you feel worse afterward, not better.

Instead of using anger to push forward, I now practice safe ways of releasing it—through movement, writing, or talking it out.

The Healing Power of Sorrow and Tears

Crying is not weakness. It is biology.

I encourage all of my patients to cry when they need to, but I have to admit it has been one of my own biggest struggles. Our culture tells us not to cry, that strength means pushing through without showing emotion. In business, management, and even medicine, people who cry are often seen as less capable or less serious.

It has taken me years of work to change that pattern in myself. I am better at it now than I used to be, but it is still a long journey.

Here is what the science says: emotional tears are chemically different from the reflex tears you shed when you cut an onion. Emotional tears contain stress hormones like cortisol and ACTH, as well as natural pain relievers called endorphins. That means crying actually helps your body lower stress and reset your nervous system.

Tears are not a failure. They are a built-in healing mechanism. Allowing yourself to cry is one of the simplest, most natural ways to support recovery.

Four Simple Practices to Support Emotional Healing

Here are four practices you can start using right away to work with your emotions:

1. Name it to tame it. Saying “I feel sad” or “I feel anxious” activates the prefrontal cortex, calming the amygdala and helping regulate emotions.
2. Journaling. Writing down emotions externalizes them, reducing the mental burden of carrying them silently.
3. Movement and music. Pairing activity with music that matches your mood helps your brain process and release emotions.
4. Crying. Let the tears come. They are your body’s natural release valve.

The Importance of Hope

Finally, we need to talk about hope.

Hope is not toxic positivity. It is not pretending everything is fine. Hope is the belief that change is possible, and your brain needs that belief in order to rewire itself.

Research shows that hope activates dopamine pathways and supports neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to form new connections. Even something as simple as thinking, “I can get through today,” has measurable effects on the brain.

Hope is not naive. It is medicine.

Final Thoughts

Emotions are not obstacles to recovery. They are some of the most powerful natural tools we have for healing depression. By naming, expressing, and releasing guilt, shame, anger, and sorrow, we create space for balance and eventually joy to return.

If this resonates with you, I go into much greater depth in my Depression Course:

• 46 videos
• 7 modules
• Over 6 hours of content
• For less than the price of a single doctor’s visit

It is everything I have shared with patients in the office for more than 10 years, plus the tools I have used in my own life living with depression since my teens. You can find it here.

And if you missed it, I recommend reading my last blog post: How Understanding the Biology of Depression Helped Me Heal.